Thursday, September 29, 2011

Losing a Friend

I've frequently talked about Ryann's little friend Kayla here on this blog. Because we moved away and the girls had a chance to say bye to each other, there's never been a reason for Kayla's parents to mention anything about Ryann to her. Besides, Kayla's still extremely young and no one even knew whether or not she remembered Ryann or missed her. Jared and I have been excited to find out whether Kayla remembers us when her family comes to visit in November, although up until now we didn't really expect her to remember us.

Becky tells the story on her blog.

So sweet. So sad.

I can't wait to hug Kayla. But I'm afraid that while she'll be happy too see us, she'll quickly start to look around for Ryann, thinking that they'll be able to run off and play together. At the same time, I'm afraid she won't remember and won't look.

When we were visiting our friends out in Iowa earlier this summer, at the end of our first supper there, almost everyone had migrated into the livingroom. I was left in the kitchen munching on fruit with little C. We had been talking about dolls and games. Missing Walla Walla and the exciting new neighbor kids. Then C turned to me and asked, 'Ryann died, didn't she?'

It's bad enough that we hurt. It's awful to know our friends hurt. But once in a while we remember that there's a younger set who lost a member. There's nothing I want more than to shield them from this. It's too unfair. They're too young. This shouldn't happen to them.

Little C, as little as she is, took a moment to make sure that I was okay with remembering Ryann. When she saw that I didn't cry and wasn't upset with her for bringing it up, she told me about Ryann. She told me about how my little girl had played tag and tea and dolls. How they had shared a meal and made messes. Little C shared her memories of Ryann with me and gave me another glimpse of my daughter. One where she was a playmate, a conspirator, a friend. One where, although too short, she had a childhood filled with friends and adventure.

Playing with the big girls at the Lincoln Children's Museum.
Meeting new friends at the library.
(This was taken on May 27, the day before we rushed to the hospital.)

1 comment:

  1. I love that she is missing a shoe in the last photo - so iconic of little ones, isn't it. A shoe or sock is always magically gone from one foot. The blurring of her in the first photo seems to be a trademark of hers from other photos I see. Like she had to be on the go, never standing still for long. :)